Please Don't Hate Me
by The-Derranged-Duo
Summary: When Jack finds Ianto reading his journal, he worries that the young man will be horrified at the tales of Jack's sordid past. He comes to learn that his young lover can find many ways to surprise him.
1. Chapter 1

Please Don't Hate Me

Please Don't Hate Me.

Part One.

Ianto put down the little book he'd been reading from. He'd originally thought it was funny, Jack having a book called 'Captain's Log'. Now, he didn't know what to think. He stared off into space, stunned.

Jack stood at the door to his office. He was just waiting there, waiting for Ianto to put his diary down. How much had he read? God, Jack thought, serves me right for reading his. Silently, a tear broke loose from Jack's heart, and wound its way down his cheek. There was too much in that book. Every bad thing he'd ever done, every bad thing that had ever been done to him. In that moment, he wouldn't have blamed Ianto if he ran away and never looked back.

"I'm so sorry," Jack whispered, brokenly.

Ianto just looked up at him. His expression was unreadable. Jack's mind traced the thousands of possibilities. He was sure Ianto would be disgusted with him now. He drew in a deep breath, trying to keep his calm. He stood tall, crossing his arms across his chest. He was so torn between holding onto his Captain's façade, and breaking down, telling the young man everything.

He was terrified. He loved Ianto so much, having let the young Welshman slip past all his barriers. Now he couldn't imagine life without him. This was it. Ianto was going to make his excuses and leave him. He just knew it. His fingers gripped his elbows just a little too tightly, fingernails digging into the skin. He couldn't bear the thought of Ianto leaving him.

"I should have told you, I should have told you all of it. But you go for years never giving a straight answer. Hiding certain parts of yourself. It becomes second nature," Jack sighed.

Ianto kept his eyes trained on Jack. Just looking at him, never saying a word, never moving from his seat in Jack's desk chair.

"I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again. Hell, I probably wouldn't if I was in your shoes. There's so much in my past. I can't get rid of it, I'm so sorry," Jack continued.

He slipped his coat from his shoulders, loosely folding it and hugging it to his chest. Only the man in front of him knew this quirk. Jack held his coat whenever something worried him. It reminded him of the days when he'd been a braver man. Fighting in the war. Living up to the name he wore.

Jack's breath came forth in a litany of whispered 'I'm Sorry's. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut; unable to bear the look of disdain he was sure would be painted across his young lover's features.

He wanted to cry. The best thing to happen to him in years, and some stupid words thrown together on dirty old paper had messed it up for him. No, he'd messed it up. He'd messed it up by being the man he used to be. How could he ever expect someone to love him? He couldn't even love himself after all the things he'd done.

"Ianto," it came out as more of an anguished sigh that a question.

He heard Ianto draw in a breath, as though he were about to speak. Jack's entire body stiffened, waiting for the impending rejection.

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Please Don't Hate Me

Please Don't Hate Me

Part Two

Walking up to Jack, Ianto said nothing. He leant forward to kiss Jack so softly, holding his hand against his captain's cheek. A single tear ran down his own at the thought of Jack even thinking that he would reject him.

Ianto couldn't think about the rest of his life without Jack now. Pulling away only a little, he rested his head against Jack's, before he whispered,

'I will always love you, Captain. No matter what. All of what I just saw could have happened yesterday and I would still love you with every inch of my body and soul. Please, never think any different. We all have a past, some more than others and it hurts, God it hurts, Jack, but you make it okay again. I only have to call you and I forget everything bad. I want to do the same for you.'

Kissing him again, Ianto threw his arms around his captain as his muffled voice came from Jack' collar.

'So...you still up for being Captain Harkness-Jones then?'

Jack pulled back for a second; looking into the face of the man he loved. He smiled, gently, tears falling silently down his cheeks. A small chuckle escaped his throat as he wrapped his arms around Ianto, drawing all the love he needed from the man in his arms.

'Of course I am, always. I love you, Ianto Harkness-Jones.'

Jack flashed his best Harkness grin, knowing that everything would be alright, as long as he had his wonderful lover with him always.

Ianto leaned in, capturing his Captain's lips for a long and tender kiss. Jack growled, deep in the back of his throat, his hands beginning to roam over Ianto's body, needing to feel his heat. He ran his tongue along the fold of the younger man's lips, begging entry to his mouth.

He ravished the depths, loving the taste of the man he held. So familiar, so utterly intoxicating it threatened to draw him in and hold him there for eternity. That, he thought, wouldn't be such a bad thing, no, not at all. He drew back, slightly, moving his mouth down, over Ianto's jaw, to his throat. Jack mouthed the skin there, licking and sucking, drinking in the little groans of pleasure that escaped the young man's lips.

Jack's fingers deftly undid the knot in Ianto's tie, gently tugging the black silk from his collar. Then they went to work on the buttons of his shirt. Red, Jack noted, the colour really did suit him. He gasped, tasting every inch of Ianto's smooth chest as it was slowly revealed. He felt Ianto's hands sliding the braces from his shoulders, pushing them down to his hips. The younger man's hands tangled in his hair, trying to gain hold of his desperate, overpowering need.

"God, Yan… I love you so much, Christ, I want you," Jack gasped.

"I love you too, Jack," Ianto replied as he trailed his fingers down the back of Jack's neck, loving the way the soft hair stood on end.

Jack slid both hands under Ianto's shirt, pulling himself as close to his lover's naked chest as he possibly could. He brushed soft, gentle kisses all over Ianto's face, his cheeks, his chin, the tip of his nose. Finally, he took Ianto's lips once more for a breath-taking, fervid kiss, memorizing every second of it.

"I think we should take this somewhere a little more comfortable," Jack purred.

He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to indicate the hole in the floor, leading to his private quarters. Ianto followed his gaze, his lips curving up in a wicked smile. He traced Jack's lips with the tip of his tongue, pecking a few small, almost chaste kisses to his mouth before he replied.

"Oh yeah… I think that could be arranged."

Fin.


End file.
